Those that know me know I'm not one to get super excited or super angry easy. I do get riled up over certain subjects but those occasions are rare and usually involve alcohol. ;) Anyway, there is one thing that gets me riled up and that is my brother-in-law. As I previously mentioned, he said I was an "embarrassment to the family" at his wedding. Whatthefuckever. It's not like I was drunk or dancing on tables. Puh-lease.
This whole thing come out last week when he called to talk to my husband. I knew it was him and I also knew I did not want to talk to him. I was busy and my husband brought me the phone. Ugh. No, I don't want to talk to your asshole brother. Hubby mouthed to me that he was going to apologize. Okay, fine. But then I am on the phone and he starts in on me and I let loose. I told him (almost) everything I thought and we ended up having a yelling match on the phone. It was still not resolved. If I would have let him I think he would have wanted to "talk it out" for hours. He felt it needed to be resolved over the phone that day. Sorry, dude, ain't happenin'. I told him he had to cut me some slack because he had probably been thinking about calling and planning what he was going to say to me while I was caught totally unprepared. My husband could hear me down the hall and said I held my own. I was riled up for a while after that phone call. My husband said he didn't know it was going to go like that, he thought he was going to apologize. Wrong-O.
I could go on about all the bullshit he was spewing but it's not worth my time to type it all out. It's stupid and we still don't understand why he feels my behavior is worth all this crap. I mean, really, was it that bad that you alienate your brother and his wife? Really?!?
He's coming in to town tomorrow. I will be cordial but I'm not exactly excited to see him. I'm happy that he's back from Iraq, safe and sound, but we're not gonna be best friends again any time soon. Some more time will have to pass before we can move in that direction. We'll have to see how the weekend goes. We're going over to stay with my in-laws so we'll be in close quarters. At least if things start to go badly, we can come home.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Mind funk
Admit it, when you read the title you first thought is said something else, didn't you?
A funk has found its way in to my mind. I tried to keep it at bay but it settled in anyway. It found its way to the surface on Sunday with my husband. It didn't go so well. It didn't go as bad as I expected it might but it could have gone better. This particular funk is fueled by the holidays, among other things. The worst part about it is that I don't know how to fix it.
Anxiousness and fear hold me back from making a major change that would probably start the ball rolling.
I think I've been a stay-at-home mom/hermit for too long. I miss having a support group of friends to call when I need to chat or vent. I also hate having to admit I need help, for anything. In my mind, I feel like I should be self-reliant but I know I can't do it all alone. I hate feeling needy and vulnerable.
Why am I sharing this today? I don't know. I just need to get it out and this is the most appropriate place to put it.
A funk has found its way in to my mind. I tried to keep it at bay but it settled in anyway. It found its way to the surface on Sunday with my husband. It didn't go so well. It didn't go as bad as I expected it might but it could have gone better. This particular funk is fueled by the holidays, among other things. The worst part about it is that I don't know how to fix it.
Anxiousness and fear hold me back from making a major change that would probably start the ball rolling.
I think I've been a stay-at-home mom/hermit for too long. I miss having a support group of friends to call when I need to chat or vent. I also hate having to admit I need help, for anything. In my mind, I feel like I should be self-reliant but I know I can't do it all alone. I hate feeling needy and vulnerable.
Why am I sharing this today? I don't know. I just need to get it out and this is the most appropriate place to put it.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Random
I said I'd try to blog more regularly, didn't I? Well, needless to say it hasn't exactly worked out like I'd planned. Oh well. It's not a big deal. This blog is more about putting down all the random stuff that's in my head than really keeping people updated. I mean, it's nice when I know people read it but that isn't the sole purpose. So, today I'll just put down some of the random things floating around in my brain.
-Christmas is 2 weeks away and I am so not ready. Granted, I'm further along than I normally am but nowhere near as prepared as I'd like to be. It happens every year: I plan in my head what I'm going to get but still end up waiting to finish shopping. If I didn't have to wait for my husband to get his bonus I think I'd be almost done but that's the way it goes.
-Pumpkin Spice and Peppermint Mocha make me happy. I particularly like them in coffee but really, in any form they're good..... especially this time of year.
-I hate to be cold, it makes me miserable, and lately it seems I'm cold more often than not. I miss the days of summer. Of course, the shitty weather makes me appreciate the summer that much more but I don't like it when it's here.
-My brother-in-law and his "new" wife (the one we've only met once) are coming to visit for a week on January 1st. This is the BIL who said I "was an embarrassment to the family" at his wedding. HA! That will be interesting. He got married in June '08 but has been in Iraq for just over a year (he should be back next week) so this hasn't been dealt with. I assure you I was NOT an embarrassment. The entire family knows the story of the nonsense he was spewing about me to my husband and since they were there, they know it's not true. I could go on about this but I think I'll save it for another day. It gets me all riled up and I'm not in that kind of mood this morning. I will say I'm not looking forward to his visit.
-I love Trader Joe's and it's a good thing there isn't one closer. I stopped by there last weekend when I was staying with my in-laws and picked up some stuff I "needed." You know.... peanut butter pretzels, two bottles of 3 Buck Chuck, organic carrots, hummus, pita chips, a huge bottle of olive oil and Joe-Joe's. They have good prices on a lot of stuff that normally is $1-2 more at Publix.
-I have developed a good relationship with my bike trainer. I used to hate it but all it took was listening to an audiobook while riding to make it so much better. Although, right now it's set up in the garage and it's just too cold out there. I might have to make an appearance at Club Med today instead. I haven't been there in a long time so it might be nice to do something different.
-Living in the country does have its advantages. Last year I blogged about the presence of a Christmas tree in one of the other elementary schools and I wrote about how it was kind of weird that they can do it. Well, my daughter's school has gone beyond just having a tree. She told me every morning before school starts there is Christmas music playing over the intercom throughout the school. On the days they can't have recess outside they watch a Christmas special. Next week they're having a Christmas party and they're exchanging Christmas gifts. On the school calendar the school break is listed as the Christmas Holiday. It doesn't bother me on the level that we're Christian and celebrate Christmas but on the other hand I wonder if the kids out here are missing out on something by living in such a homogeneous area. Although, I grew up in a similar environment and I turned out okay (as did the majority of the people I went to school with) so maybe not.
Well, that's all I've got for now. I know there's more but it's getting bogged down by the running list of all the things I need to do today.
-Christmas is 2 weeks away and I am so not ready. Granted, I'm further along than I normally am but nowhere near as prepared as I'd like to be. It happens every year: I plan in my head what I'm going to get but still end up waiting to finish shopping. If I didn't have to wait for my husband to get his bonus I think I'd be almost done but that's the way it goes.
-Pumpkin Spice and Peppermint Mocha make me happy. I particularly like them in coffee but really, in any form they're good..... especially this time of year.
-I hate to be cold, it makes me miserable, and lately it seems I'm cold more often than not. I miss the days of summer. Of course, the shitty weather makes me appreciate the summer that much more but I don't like it when it's here.
-My brother-in-law and his "new" wife (the one we've only met once) are coming to visit for a week on January 1st. This is the BIL who said I "was an embarrassment to the family" at his wedding. HA! That will be interesting. He got married in June '08 but has been in Iraq for just over a year (he should be back next week) so this hasn't been dealt with. I assure you I was NOT an embarrassment. The entire family knows the story of the nonsense he was spewing about me to my husband and since they were there, they know it's not true. I could go on about this but I think I'll save it for another day. It gets me all riled up and I'm not in that kind of mood this morning. I will say I'm not looking forward to his visit.
-I love Trader Joe's and it's a good thing there isn't one closer. I stopped by there last weekend when I was staying with my in-laws and picked up some stuff I "needed." You know.... peanut butter pretzels, two bottles of 3 Buck Chuck, organic carrots, hummus, pita chips, a huge bottle of olive oil and Joe-Joe's. They have good prices on a lot of stuff that normally is $1-2 more at Publix.
-I have developed a good relationship with my bike trainer. I used to hate it but all it took was listening to an audiobook while riding to make it so much better. Although, right now it's set up in the garage and it's just too cold out there. I might have to make an appearance at Club Med today instead. I haven't been there in a long time so it might be nice to do something different.
-Living in the country does have its advantages. Last year I blogged about the presence of a Christmas tree in one of the other elementary schools and I wrote about how it was kind of weird that they can do it. Well, my daughter's school has gone beyond just having a tree. She told me every morning before school starts there is Christmas music playing over the intercom throughout the school. On the days they can't have recess outside they watch a Christmas special. Next week they're having a Christmas party and they're exchanging Christmas gifts. On the school calendar the school break is listed as the Christmas Holiday. It doesn't bother me on the level that we're Christian and celebrate Christmas but on the other hand I wonder if the kids out here are missing out on something by living in such a homogeneous area. Although, I grew up in a similar environment and I turned out okay (as did the majority of the people I went to school with) so maybe not.
Well, that's all I've got for now. I know there's more but it's getting bogged down by the running list of all the things I need to do today.
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