I am an endorphin junkie

My husband and I had a conversation last night about how to deal with my little hiatus. He's noticed some depression, frustration and moodiness. Well, seems I'm not hiding my feelings as well as I thought I was because he nailed it. I am trying so hard to NOT be bitter because what happen with my hours wasn't personal. I know it wasn't, I do, but there are times when I have to fight hard to keep the bitterness at bay. Anyway, the reason for the conversation was because I called my husband at work yesterday on the verge of tears because I was frustrated. The weather has been beautiful all week and I haven't been able to ride since Sunday. All I could do yesterday was stand by the back door and stare longingly outside and think about riding. I am having the hardest time figuring out what to do with my time and how to get my "fix" with a preschooler in-tow. I have a friend who has a bike trailer that she's going to let me borrow, hallelujah! I will be able to take the little one to the park next week and pull her behind my bike. But yesterday, I was about to go to the store and buy one of my own; that's how badly I wanted to get out. He observed that I am not a homebody (contrary to what I sometimes think in my own head) and being here with so many things to do but no schedule to do it really doesn't work for me. I will figure out a schedule next week, if for nothing else then to keep my sanity. And I will try to figure out if I want to stay in limbo and wait for things to work out or search for something else. I still need my fix, good thing I will be able to get out tomorrow and Sunday.

Baseball is FINALLY over.

I don't like baseball. I just don't "get" it and don't follow it. Maybe it's a girl thing ... maybe not. There are plenty of women who are die-hard baseball fans. I don't understand watching baseball, it's like watching grass grow. I'm glad the Phillies won though, I'm almost always a fan of the underdog.

Watching cycling is probably a lot like watching baseball; it's only interesting if you know (and care) what's going on. I can understand why someone would not want to watch cycling, it's a bunch of guys in spandex riding bikes. How exciting can that be? Really, I get it. It's a lot about the drama surrounding the teams and a particular race or event. It's big news that Armstrong is returning to cycling and has joined the Astana team. What will happen to Contador, the team's current leader? What about Leipenheimer? Will he continue to be a strong time trialist now that he has to go up against Lance? Will Astana be invited to the Big Dance next summer after being excluded this year? Will Lance ride in the Tour de Georgia? (personally, I hope the answer is yes to the TdG) Cycling can be exciting and engaging but it takes a lot more studying to understand most aspects of the sport. Most people don't grow up cycling or watching pros like they do with other sports. I enjoy it but I enjoy the everyday aspect of the sport more and especially sharing my enthusiasm with beginners.

Election season sucks

I am so over this election season. It's ridiculous. Everyday I get some propaganda in the mail and another call for the umpteenth time. I'm tired of it and so ready for it to be over. Why can't they just leave me alone to make my decision by myself? It's not like a phone call (that is always a recording) is suddenly going to change my mind. I wish it would hurry up and be November 5th.

As I get older....

....they stay the same age. Seriously, kids don't change. I have come to this realization recently and it makes me feel old. Not old like my Sciatica is acting up but old just the same. My daughter told me last week about a game they play at school during recess: the girls chase the boys and try to kiss them. The 2008 version of "The Kissing Game" that I played at High Meadows in 1982. I remember running through the woods in 1st and 2nd grade chasing boys and trying to catch them to kiss them. Of course they ran away in horror so it made the game fun. I have the feeling that the boys at my daughter's school have the same reaction. Another thing that made me laugh is my daughter reciting "eeney, meany, miney, mo." How does something like this get passed down? Is it just inherent? When kids enter 1st grade does something awaken in their brain and all of a sudden they know that if he hollers, let him go?

We had an idea at the bike shop one day that we were going to make a show like 'The Office.' But it would take place at the shop and it would be real, for the most part. Charlie wanted to put a hidden camera in the shop and it would be an online show. I came up the name, Changing Gears. It is cheesy but we liked it anyway. There are many days when we have crazy stuff happen that could be entertaining. We have some interesting characters too, like the dude who runs the store next door. He has crazy eyes and every time I think about it I crack up; mostly due to Charlie's description of them after we made him go over and buy electrical tape. Next Door Dude has crazy eyes like one eye looks straight (sort of) and the other one looks at his nose all the time. And the fact that he's weird and his store smells like my grandma's basement doesn't make us want to go over and chat with him either, even if he didn't have crazy eyes.

A post to start

Yes folks, I now have my own blog. I have too much time on my hands. I should be doing stuff around the house but spend too much time on the computer. So, I figured if I'm going to be on here anyway, might as well have an outlet. Being at home with a 3 year old just isn't the same as being with other adults. While she is definitely one of the smartest 3 year olds I know, it's not like I can laugh about 'The Office' or talk about the new album by Conor Oberst.

It's been hard adjusting to not working again. I was a stay at home mom for 4 years before I went back to work part-time and have worked at the shop for just over a year. I miss working. Part of it is getting out of the house to go to a job that I love and part of it is having my own paycheck again. It's difficult to totally rely on someone else to pay for everything and I don't do it well. In fact, I'm terrible at it. I know this and still fall in to the same old habits. I have gotten better but I still hold on to old ideas and habits with money.

I also miss being able to ride my bike. I love my bikes and riding outside. The trainer just isn't the same. I have accepted the fact that in order to keep my current fitness I am going to have to reestablish a relationship with my trainer. It is neglected all summer and I think it's jealous. Actually, I know it is. But I also know it will get over it. Most of my weekday rides will be on the trainer so it will get used and abused and I think it likes it rough.

Blogging like this is new to me so I'm going to have to figure it out. Will I get on every time I have a random thought? Will I save up my random thoughts so I can have a longer entry? We shall see, we shall see.