Feeling a little down, especially after my craptastic run today. Meh, not much else to say that is worth typing. I'm just putting it here because I don't feel like putting it in my training log. There's more but it's just more passive-aggressive crap that nobody wants to read and I don't want to type (or read) so I'm trying to move on.
My husband is gone late again tonight. He worked late on Monday, Tuesday I took the girls to a girl scout thing, yesterday he didn't get home until after 7 because he decided to stop by the shop on the way home but didn't tell me and tonight he's doing his group ride. I know I shouldn't complain, really, I know. I am grateful he has a job to go to... however, staying at home all day and taking care of the girls solo is exhausting. I haven't been sleeping well and I'm wiped out. Last night I even fell asleep watching tv and missed the ending of LOST - can you believe it??
Well, I'm just venting and jealous, he gets to ride and I'm at home. The other day I said I wished I could join the lunch ride he leads on Tuesdays and he said he'd like to be a stay-at-home dad. Okay, so not the same thing but whatever. I'll get over it, I just needed to get it out and there's nobody to vent to right at this moment.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The turtle
I've heard about some kids and their ingrained sense of empathy but had never experienced it first-hand. Last week my sweet 3 year old showed me.
We went to the Sea Turtle Center where they have a turtle hospital to care for all kinds of turtles, not just sea turtles. We walked through the exhibit first but by the time we got back to the hospital part, my daughter was bored. I was glad to get to the other building because I knew she'd like to see the turtles. The hospital part is in the back in a sep
arate building because the turtles are each in their own pool. On the "observation deck," there was information about each turtle: what their name was, what was wrong with them, how long they'd been there, where they were found.... all the pertinent information. I'm walking around, telling my daughter about each one and then we come to a turtle (**she thinks its' name Pumpkin, more on in a minute) who is missing a flipper, so sad. I think that's the end of it. We finish reading about all the turtles and head out. And for the record, this center also had some Terps. ;)
Later that day, we were back at the campsite and she is talking to my husband. She tells him that she wants to do something for Pumpkin. She remembered that it is missing a leg and wanted to help it feel better. She wants to send Pumpkin one of her stuffed animals and a note. Awwwww. So sweet. It still makes me tear up a little. She wanted to help poor Pumpkin because it wasn't feeling well.
She hasn't forgotten so I need to get off my butt and get up in the attic to find a stuffed animal to send to Pumpkin.
**The turtle with the missing flipper wasn't actually named Pumpkin but Pumpkin and the mystery turtle were in tanks right next to each other. I think the turtle's name was Vivienne or something like that. She really only remembers Pumpkin which is okay too. We know which turtle she meant because she mentioned the one missing a leg several times.
We went to the Sea Turtle Center where they have a turtle hospital to care for all kinds of turtles, not just sea turtles. We walked through the exhibit first but by the time we got back to the hospital part, my daughter was bored. I was glad to get to the other building because I knew she'd like to see the turtles. The hospital part is in the back in a sep
arate building because the turtles are each in their own pool. On the "observation deck," there was information about each turtle: what their name was, what was wrong with them, how long they'd been there, where they were found.... all the pertinent information. I'm walking around, telling my daughter about each one and then we come to a turtle (**she thinks its' name Pumpkin, more on in a minute) who is missing a flipper, so sad. I think that's the end of it. We finish reading about all the turtles and head out. And for the record, this center also had some Terps. ;)Later that day, we were back at the campsite and she is talking to my husband. She tells him that she wants to do something for Pumpkin. She remembered that it is missing a leg and wanted to help it feel better. She wants to send Pumpkin one of her stuffed animals and a note. Awwwww. So sweet. It still makes me tear up a little. She wanted to help poor Pumpkin because it wasn't feeling well.
She hasn't forgotten so I need to get off my butt and get up in the attic to find a stuffed animal to send to Pumpkin.
**The turtle with the missing flipper wasn't actually named Pumpkin but Pumpkin and the mystery turtle were in tanks right next to each other. I think the turtle's name was Vivienne or something like that. She really only remembers Pumpkin which is okay too. We know which turtle she meant because she mentioned the one missing a leg several times.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Xterra race report
This report is essentially the same as the one in my training log but I added a few details that I forgot to put in my other one.
Pre-race routine:
My bag was already packed so I had my breakfast of PB&J on a waffle and coffee. I put my bike on the rack on the car and headed over to the park. It's only about 5 minutes from my house so I left about 6:50 for an 8:00 start. The park doesn't normally open until 7 so I thought I'd be one of the first ones to arrive. Much to my surprise, the parking lot was already about halfway full. I drove separately while my husband rode his bike over and was stressing when he didn't show up until almost the last minute. I wanted to make sure he made it and I wanted to see him before I got in the water.
Warm-up:
None except getting my wetsuit on and getting in the water to make sure my goggles were set. (which they weren't and never were!) Took a quick dip to get that layer of water in the suit and get my face wet to adjust to the chilly water. The race started a few minutes late so I was chilly standing in the water waiting to start.
Swim:
Since I've done this race before, I knew the start was a mass start. I thought I had placed myself pretty well but it turned out I was more near the front than I anticipated. The gun went off and we started swimming and there were people everywhere! I am terrible at swimming around and over people so I got caught up and couldn't find clear water. I had to breathe every stroke, couldn't get a rhythm and swallowed a bunch of water every time I tried to sight. There were people everywhere and I was getting splashed and started doing a water polo kind of stroke to avoid getting kicked in the face. I've never swam in that type of washing machine kind of start before and I don't care to do it again. The amount of people made the water choppy and I kept getting water in my face, enough to make me gag. I had to stop and tread water and heave several times. I really thought I was going to throw up right there in the water. Ick. A guy swimming by me actually asked me if I was okay. I didn't think about it at the time but how was he swimming that he could notice I was gagging? Anyway, I was barely 1/2 way to the first buoy and figured I might as well keep going, the bike couldn't be worse. Next time I will definitely start on the outside. I think it would be better to risk swimming extra yards to avoid that kind of start. I know I can go faster.
I rounded the buoys and swam straight to shore. As soon as I could stand, I stood up and started (trying) to take off my wetsuit. I used my watch time as my swim time, I remembered to hit the lap button when I entered transition but that was the only time I did it right.
T1
The suit got stuck on my arms, full suits are tight! Jogged to transition and tried to strip the suit the rest of the way but it got stuck on my feet - Dammit! Finally got it off, was dripping wet and got my bike shoes on, which were immediately soaking wet. I decided to ride without socks for this race. Not so much to save time (even though socks on wet feet is a major PITA!) but because I don't really need them. Shoes, gloves, helmet, camelbak, bike and I was out.
Bike:
I run out of T1 and felt like I was doing pretty well - there were still a bunch of bikes on racks. Ok, great, gonna be a good ride. I think I only got about 50 feet when I hear, "Flat! You've got a flat!" I think, "Me? Is he yelling at me? Shit, it is me."
I hop off the bike and see the tire is completely flat. Of course it's the back wheel. Fabulous. I turn the bike upside down and get the rear wheel off. I get the tube changed, tire on and start pumping it up and hear a hissing. My husband was right there and I asked him if he heard it. I pump some more and it's definitely hissing - yep, it's going flat. Fuuuuck. Get the tire off and run my hand around the inside to feel if there's anything sharp and I don't feel anything. Start the process again and get it changed and then I can't get the wheel back on. Aaaahhhh! Finally I get it on and locked, flip the bike over and try to roll it forward; the chain is stuck and then it throws the chain to the outside. Oh, come on!?! I change the gears so I can get it back on the big ring and get going, once again. The tire pressure was low but my mini-pump doesn't have a gauge so I had guess based on feel. During the whole process I had 4 or 5 guys offer to help - which was nice (even though I know how to change a flat!) but had to decline and tell them they can't help me. So, back off, Buddy! Just kidding. I tried to be nice but was more than a little frustrated.
When the second one went flat I felt the tears and was ready to say fuck it. On the verge of tears, I told my husband I didn't want to be last. There was a girl nearby who also said I wouldn't be last if I had this kind of determination to change 2 flats. I looked at my watch and saw this whole ordeal had taken 12 minutes; TWELVE minutes I lost! This is why my swim shows up as 33 minutes in the results, my swim time includes T1 and they started my bike time when I passed the finish line. I found the suckitupitude and rode out to the bike course. I took a gel right at the beginning of the ride. (even though at this point I was still considering quitting)
The course mostly followed the outer loop which is fairly tame as far as mountain bike courses go, EXCEPT they included a new section in the race. You know you're in for an interesting ride when there are signs that read "Monster Mile" and "Steep Climb." For me, the bad news was that new section was included; the good news was that I rode it last weekend so it wasn't unexpected. I was able to pass some folks but since I had such a long delay, I pretty much had the trail to myself. I think I passed 10-12 people. My rear tire was low which slowed me down but it helped me keep traction on a few tough climbs so I'm undecided if it was a total wash. I actually stopped once to put more air in the tire but it still felt lower then I normally ride. The rest of the ride was mostly uneventful. I got off and walked my bike on a big dip that I have done before but my confidence took a blow last week when I did an endo. My ride was definitely slower than normal and I was so glad to get back to the start.
T2
Nothing major. Found my rack, took off my stuff, slipped my running shoes on and grabbed my hat and race belt. I jogged out of transition and headed out. I decided to go without socks for the run too. I usually slip socks on in T2 but went without today. I have tried running without socks on the treadmill and it was fine but this was the first time actually doing it outside. I took a risk but it worked out well, no big hot spots and no blisters. I did have some sand on my ankle but it didn't cause any major issues, it was just annoying.
What would you do differently?:
Probably nothing except hustle more.
Run:
The run includes my T2 time and I'd like to think I took a couple of minutes in transition but I really have no idea. I went out too fast because right off the bat my HR was high and my breathing was out of control. My HR was actually at or above my AT almost the entire run. I ran until I got back in to the woods and walked to eat a gel. The run followed the mountain bike course until the turn off at the Monster Mile. Then we crossed the pipeline to pick up some of the inner loop. I ran, took walk breaks when my HR spiked, and ran the rest of the way. This year I'd say I ran almost the whole time but it was slow-going. I felt strong when I was running and my pace felt good but it was definitely slower then I wanted.
I took my amphipod bottle with me again this year and I am so glad I did. There's only one water table on the run (of 5 miles!) and it was starting to get hot and I was dehydrated. I didn't see many people on the run. I think I saw 2 or 3 folks on the entire run.
Oh, and not long after I started, two mountain bikers came up behind me. They were more courteous than I was. I said something like, "Dude, I'm racing." I'm sure I came off as bitchy when we wasn't being a jerk (I think they were kinda waiting) but I couldn't help it - it just came out. Oops, sorry Dude. It's not entirely their fault the park probably said it was okay to ride when the race was still happening. (the trails were supposed to be closed until 11)
What would you do differently?:
Like every race ... run more. It's no secret running is my least favorite so I can't be surprised when my run is less than stellar. This run was about average for me, below average for everyone else.
Post race warm down:
None, I was done. My husband got me a Gatorade and we walked around. Talked to a guy I met last week about the race and saw another friend and chatted for a few minutes. I packed up my crap, checked the preliminary posted results and got the hell outta Dodge.
What limited your ability to perform faster?:
Hmmm, poor seeding on the swim, 2 flats on the bike, lack of running in the last couple of weeks. I really thought I was better prepared for this race. I don't know exactly what happened. I could say what happened messed me up pretty much from the get-go, but I feel like there's more but can't put my finger on it. Even with the mishaps, I finished a minute faster than last year but going in to this race I really expected it to go differently. It just wasn't my day, I suppose.
Event comments:
This is a good race and well organized. The bike course was more technical then last year so I think it makes an intermediate level bike course. The thing that strikes me as funny about this race is that it's put on by a company that primarily does mountain bike races. They're super nice but the post-race food is definitely geared towards those types of guys (you know it's almost exclusively guys) and it's so obvious. This is the only triathlon I have ever been to where the post-race food consisted of meatball subs, potato salad and baked beans. The guys were all over it but I wanted absolutely no part of it. I was happy with my Gatorade and banana.
I'm glad I did this race but I'm not sure if I'll do it again. My swim experience was so terrible, it's almost a deal breaker. Even two days later I have mixed emotions about the entire race. I'm not totally disappointed with my performance but wonder how my day would have gone had my conditions been better.
Pre-race routine:
My bag was already packed so I had my breakfast of PB&J on a waffle and coffee. I put my bike on the rack on the car and headed over to the park. It's only about 5 minutes from my house so I left about 6:50 for an 8:00 start. The park doesn't normally open until 7 so I thought I'd be one of the first ones to arrive. Much to my surprise, the parking lot was already about halfway full. I drove separately while my husband rode his bike over and was stressing when he didn't show up until almost the last minute. I wanted to make sure he made it and I wanted to see him before I got in the water.
Warm-up:
None except getting my wetsuit on and getting in the water to make sure my goggles were set. (which they weren't and never were!) Took a quick dip to get that layer of water in the suit and get my face wet to adjust to the chilly water. The race started a few minutes late so I was chilly standing in the water waiting to start.
Swim:
Since I've done this race before, I knew the start was a mass start. I thought I had placed myself pretty well but it turned out I was more near the front than I anticipated. The gun went off and we started swimming and there were people everywhere! I am terrible at swimming around and over people so I got caught up and couldn't find clear water. I had to breathe every stroke, couldn't get a rhythm and swallowed a bunch of water every time I tried to sight. There were people everywhere and I was getting splashed and started doing a water polo kind of stroke to avoid getting kicked in the face. I've never swam in that type of washing machine kind of start before and I don't care to do it again. The amount of people made the water choppy and I kept getting water in my face, enough to make me gag. I had to stop and tread water and heave several times. I really thought I was going to throw up right there in the water. Ick. A guy swimming by me actually asked me if I was okay. I didn't think about it at the time but how was he swimming that he could notice I was gagging? Anyway, I was barely 1/2 way to the first buoy and figured I might as well keep going, the bike couldn't be worse. Next time I will definitely start on the outside. I think it would be better to risk swimming extra yards to avoid that kind of start. I know I can go faster.
I rounded the buoys and swam straight to shore. As soon as I could stand, I stood up and started (trying) to take off my wetsuit. I used my watch time as my swim time, I remembered to hit the lap button when I entered transition but that was the only time I did it right.
T1
The suit got stuck on my arms, full suits are tight! Jogged to transition and tried to strip the suit the rest of the way but it got stuck on my feet - Dammit! Finally got it off, was dripping wet and got my bike shoes on, which were immediately soaking wet. I decided to ride without socks for this race. Not so much to save time (even though socks on wet feet is a major PITA!) but because I don't really need them. Shoes, gloves, helmet, camelbak, bike and I was out.
Bike:
I run out of T1 and felt like I was doing pretty well - there were still a bunch of bikes on racks. Ok, great, gonna be a good ride. I think I only got about 50 feet when I hear, "Flat! You've got a flat!" I think, "Me? Is he yelling at me? Shit, it is me."
I hop off the bike and see the tire is completely flat. Of course it's the back wheel. Fabulous. I turn the bike upside down and get the rear wheel off. I get the tube changed, tire on and start pumping it up and hear a hissing. My husband was right there and I asked him if he heard it. I pump some more and it's definitely hissing - yep, it's going flat. Fuuuuck. Get the tire off and run my hand around the inside to feel if there's anything sharp and I don't feel anything. Start the process again and get it changed and then I can't get the wheel back on. Aaaahhhh! Finally I get it on and locked, flip the bike over and try to roll it forward; the chain is stuck and then it throws the chain to the outside. Oh, come on!?! I change the gears so I can get it back on the big ring and get going, once again. The tire pressure was low but my mini-pump doesn't have a gauge so I had guess based on feel. During the whole process I had 4 or 5 guys offer to help - which was nice (even though I know how to change a flat!) but had to decline and tell them they can't help me. So, back off, Buddy! Just kidding. I tried to be nice but was more than a little frustrated.
When the second one went flat I felt the tears and was ready to say fuck it. On the verge of tears, I told my husband I didn't want to be last. There was a girl nearby who also said I wouldn't be last if I had this kind of determination to change 2 flats. I looked at my watch and saw this whole ordeal had taken 12 minutes; TWELVE minutes I lost! This is why my swim shows up as 33 minutes in the results, my swim time includes T1 and they started my bike time when I passed the finish line. I found the suckitupitude and rode out to the bike course. I took a gel right at the beginning of the ride. (even though at this point I was still considering quitting)
The course mostly followed the outer loop which is fairly tame as far as mountain bike courses go, EXCEPT they included a new section in the race. You know you're in for an interesting ride when there are signs that read "Monster Mile" and "Steep Climb." For me, the bad news was that new section was included; the good news was that I rode it last weekend so it wasn't unexpected. I was able to pass some folks but since I had such a long delay, I pretty much had the trail to myself. I think I passed 10-12 people. My rear tire was low which slowed me down but it helped me keep traction on a few tough climbs so I'm undecided if it was a total wash. I actually stopped once to put more air in the tire but it still felt lower then I normally ride. The rest of the ride was mostly uneventful. I got off and walked my bike on a big dip that I have done before but my confidence took a blow last week when I did an endo. My ride was definitely slower than normal and I was so glad to get back to the start.
T2
Nothing major. Found my rack, took off my stuff, slipped my running shoes on and grabbed my hat and race belt. I jogged out of transition and headed out. I decided to go without socks for the run too. I usually slip socks on in T2 but went without today. I have tried running without socks on the treadmill and it was fine but this was the first time actually doing it outside. I took a risk but it worked out well, no big hot spots and no blisters. I did have some sand on my ankle but it didn't cause any major issues, it was just annoying.
What would you do differently?:
Probably nothing except hustle more.
Run:
The run includes my T2 time and I'd like to think I took a couple of minutes in transition but I really have no idea. I went out too fast because right off the bat my HR was high and my breathing was out of control. My HR was actually at or above my AT almost the entire run. I ran until I got back in to the woods and walked to eat a gel. The run followed the mountain bike course until the turn off at the Monster Mile. Then we crossed the pipeline to pick up some of the inner loop. I ran, took walk breaks when my HR spiked, and ran the rest of the way. This year I'd say I ran almost the whole time but it was slow-going. I felt strong when I was running and my pace felt good but it was definitely slower then I wanted.
I took my amphipod bottle with me again this year and I am so glad I did. There's only one water table on the run (of 5 miles!) and it was starting to get hot and I was dehydrated. I didn't see many people on the run. I think I saw 2 or 3 folks on the entire run.
Oh, and not long after I started, two mountain bikers came up behind me. They were more courteous than I was. I said something like, "Dude, I'm racing." I'm sure I came off as bitchy when we wasn't being a jerk (I think they were kinda waiting) but I couldn't help it - it just came out. Oops, sorry Dude. It's not entirely their fault the park probably said it was okay to ride when the race was still happening. (the trails were supposed to be closed until 11)
What would you do differently?:
Like every race ... run more. It's no secret running is my least favorite so I can't be surprised when my run is less than stellar. This run was about average for me, below average for everyone else.
Post race warm down:
None, I was done. My husband got me a Gatorade and we walked around. Talked to a guy I met last week about the race and saw another friend and chatted for a few minutes. I packed up my crap, checked the preliminary posted results and got the hell outta Dodge.
What limited your ability to perform faster?:
Hmmm, poor seeding on the swim, 2 flats on the bike, lack of running in the last couple of weeks. I really thought I was better prepared for this race. I don't know exactly what happened. I could say what happened messed me up pretty much from the get-go, but I feel like there's more but can't put my finger on it. Even with the mishaps, I finished a minute faster than last year but going in to this race I really expected it to go differently. It just wasn't my day, I suppose.
Event comments:
This is a good race and well organized. The bike course was more technical then last year so I think it makes an intermediate level bike course. The thing that strikes me as funny about this race is that it's put on by a company that primarily does mountain bike races. They're super nice but the post-race food is definitely geared towards those types of guys (you know it's almost exclusively guys) and it's so obvious. This is the only triathlon I have ever been to where the post-race food consisted of meatball subs, potato salad and baked beans. The guys were all over it but I wanted absolutely no part of it. I was happy with my Gatorade and banana.
I'm glad I did this race but I'm not sure if I'll do it again. My swim experience was so terrible, it's almost a deal breaker. Even two days later I have mixed emotions about the entire race. I'm not totally disappointed with my performance but wonder how my day would have gone had my conditions been better.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Spring Break
This week my daughter has spring break and we are headed to the beach. Well, technically, we're headed to a campground near the beach but whatever - it's still on an island by the beach. We're going to Jekyll Island, a barrier island off the coast of Georgia. We are camping in the one campground on the island. We have a large family tent for all four of us. It is 
large enough to hold 3 blow-up beds. (2 twins and 1 queen) Yeah, it's that big. We also have water and electricity at our site if we need it. I don't think we'll need the power but the water is essential. We've stayed there before so we know what to expect. There is no way we'd take the girls camping at a campground (an actual campground, not just camping in the woods) site-unseen. There are too many variables. We've made that mistake before, twice. Now that they're older, I don't think it would be such a problem but our 3 year old is not quite as flexible as our 7 year old, yet. Most of that has to do with her age and I understand so I try to plan accordingly.
My husband and I have been there before, for a race, but didn't spend a lot
of time exploring the island. I know there is a bunch of stuff we haven't seen, like Driftwood Beach. A section of beach with huge trees of driftwood that supposedly (from what some websites said) washed ashore during hurricane Hugo. I think the girls will really like this area. Heck, I think it's pretty darn cool. ;0) The weather should be great. This time of year it's pretty mild. The days should be warm and the nights cool - perfect temps for exploring the island and sleeping in a tent.
And of course we're taking bikes. We don't go anywhere without bikes. The island has miles and miles of bike paths. The little one will ride in a trailer and the big one will be riding her new bike. The island is pancake flat so she shouldn't have a problem. We're taking our grocery-getter bike and another one but we're not sure which one. I originally thought about taking our road bikes, the 'do-all' bikes and my daughters bike but it's just not practical to take FIVE bikes with us.
We're driving down on Monday and drive home on Friday. I will update when we get home. I am racing on Saturday so I'm sure I'll have a lot to say about that as well.
large enough to hold 3 blow-up beds. (2 twins and 1 queen) Yeah, it's that big. We also have water and electricity at our site if we need it. I don't think we'll need the power but the water is essential. We've stayed there before so we know what to expect. There is no way we'd take the girls camping at a campground (an actual campground, not just camping in the woods) site-unseen. There are too many variables. We've made that mistake before, twice. Now that they're older, I don't think it would be such a problem but our 3 year old is not quite as flexible as our 7 year old, yet. Most of that has to do with her age and I understand so I try to plan accordingly.My husband and I have been there before, for a race, but didn't spend a lot
of time exploring the island. I know there is a bunch of stuff we haven't seen, like Driftwood Beach. A section of beach with huge trees of driftwood that supposedly (from what some websites said) washed ashore during hurricane Hugo. I think the girls will really like this area. Heck, I think it's pretty darn cool. ;0) The weather should be great. This time of year it's pretty mild. The days should be warm and the nights cool - perfect temps for exploring the island and sleeping in a tent.And of course we're taking bikes. We don't go anywhere without bikes. The island has miles and miles of bike paths. The little one will ride in a trailer and the big one will be riding her new bike. The island is pancake flat so she shouldn't have a problem. We're taking our grocery-getter bike and another one but we're not sure which one. I originally thought about taking our road bikes, the 'do-all' bikes and my daughters bike but it's just not practical to take FIVE bikes with us.
We're driving down on Monday and drive home on Friday. I will update when we get home. I am racing on Saturday so I'm sure I'll have a lot to say about that as well.
Mountain biking
Yesterday was a busy day and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to squeeze in a ride. Thankfully, I got some stuff done and was able to go mountain biking. I wanted to MTB because it was a counter-clockwise day (which I haven't ridden in FOREVER) which is the same direction as the race next weekend. I am riding and feeling great, even pass some folks and I come to a new section I've never ridden. I've seen the sign but haven't gone that way before. (not even sure how long it's been open) It says "Monster Mile, advanced" and also points to a "beginner" way as well. I think, "how hard can it be? The rest of the trail is fairly tame. Advanced? Pshaw." Well, it was definitely more challenging then I expected. Tight, twisty single track with lots of ups and downs and a couple dips that caught me by surprise.
I did my first real endo - with the bike on top of my back - with an audience, it was AWESOME. It didn't hurt as badly as I expected. I braced my fall with my hands (to keep from faceplanting) and actually when I hit the ground, my thighs took the brunt of the fall and are a little sore today. My ego was bruised but not broken. After that incident, I was definitely more hesitant on the rest of that new section. I was so glad to get back on the regular trail. That seemed like the longest mile. The rest of the ride was uneventful except for a set of switchbacks that I still cannot do going that direction. Grrrrrrr. So frustrating. I can do the first one but the second one has a sharper turn, steeper, that is rutted out and loose with sticks and rocks. Dammit. Maybe if I rode that direction more often I would get it. Part of it definitely mental. After the Monster Mile, my confidence took a dive and I felt defeated by the time I got to the switchbacks.
I did my first real endo - with the bike on top of my back - with an audience, it was AWESOME. It didn't hurt as badly as I expected. I braced my fall with my hands (to keep from faceplanting) and actually when I hit the ground, my thighs took the brunt of the fall and are a little sore today. My ego was bruised but not broken. After that incident, I was definitely more hesitant on the rest of that new section. I was so glad to get back on the regular trail. That seemed like the longest mile. The rest of the ride was uneventful except for a set of switchbacks that I still cannot do going that direction. Grrrrrrr. So frustrating. I can do the first one but the second one has a sharper turn, steeper, that is rutted out and loose with sticks and rocks. Dammit. Maybe if I rode that direction more often I would get it. Part of it definitely mental. After the Monster Mile, my confidence took a dive and I felt defeated by the time I got to the switchbacks.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Sleep
I'm tired this morning. Last night, when I went to bed, I was pretty much asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. A clear sign I'm not getting enough sleep. The "experts" say that if you're sufficiently rested, it should take about 10 minutes to fall asleep. That is so not the case with me. I will often wait to go to bed until I'm sleepy and really, I'm doing my body a disservice. I'm sleep deprived but don't really feel like it. It should be easier to get up at my normal time but instead it's a challenge and all I want to do once I get up is go back in bed. We'll joke that sleep is overrated and we can sleep when we're dead but it is essential in recovery. Sleep is when many hormones are released to repair tissues in the body. I'll simply add "more sleep" to the list things I need to do better on a daily basis. ;0)
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Racing and running
I have lost my running mojo and I can't find it. But really, I wonder if I really want to find it? The answer to that is debatable. In theory I do but not enough that I want to go searching, either. Hmmm, that's a problem. Triathlon is my sport and running is a necessary part. My husband and I were talking about something in regards to racing last night and I said something about doing well in the swim, kicking ass on the bike and taking a nosedive on the run. Aerobically, it's there; my brain and legs are not quite with the program. I know I can do it, I know I can. It's just a matter of making my head believe it. In a race situation, I am gonna have to fight hard not to walk. It's my fall-back strategy. Outside of major pain or GI issues - I AM NOT GOING TO WALK. I was able to mostly run at my first race last year with practically no run training. If I could do it then, I can do it now.
Monday, April 13, 2009
A toxic person
I have come to realize (once again, somehow I had forgotten!) that my relationship with my father is terrible. There is still anger and resentment there that I wish wasn't and I am an expert at pretending it doesn't exist. To say that he and my stepmonster are narcissistic is an understatement. Maybe I'm too cynical, maybe I'm not; either way, they are wrapped up in their world and seem to care little about mine. Okay, maybe in their own, weird way they think they care but I don't have the energy or time to wade through their bullshit to find out.
This was prompted by a phone call I received last Wednesday. Out of the blue, my dad calls me and catches me as I'm in the middle of something so I had to call him back and catch him after work. I do catch up with him and pretty much at the start of the conversation he begins with asking to borrow money. Wait.... what? Did I hear that right? My dad is very sarcastic so I asked him if he was serious. (if you know my dad you'd know this is not a strange question) He said yes. I could probably write a book with tips on how NOT to make bad life decisions based on the lessons learned from this man. Anyway, he's having a hard time, after filing bankruptcy this year, and asked to borrow some money. Ummm.... I don't know.
Of course I had to talk it over with my husband (who, incidentally, is not a fan of the Edgar) I was shocked. Really, I should have seen it coming. I really should have. But why would I? On the one hand I see how I should have seen it coming but on the other hand why would I think my father would ask to borrow money? I was dumbstruck. It's not like it was a huge sum of money but the fact that he asked in the first place shocked me. We'll just add that to the list of things this man does that I don't understand.
I have to tell him no and it causes a level of anxiety I don't like - ever. I feel it in the pit of my stomach. The phone is ringing and I'm nervous. Is it guilt? No, I don't think so. Well, maybe a little. Without rehashing the details, this money would help pay for something he probably does need but should be able to pay for next month. Am I saying no because I'm bitter? Yeah, there's probably a degree of bitterness involved but we have to take care of our own family first. We have two small people who depend on us and we have to take care of them first and foremost. Now I feel like I'm making excuses and justifying my decision. I shouldn't have to but I can't help it.
When dealing with my father, I become an angry 17 year old. I want to let it go, I really want to but there is a whole lotta hurt and bitterness that is difficult to undo. My way to deal with is to pretend it doesn't exist and limit my contact with him and the stepmonster. (especially the crazy stepmonster!) He is definitely the classic definition of a toxic person in my life. I have cut back my interaction because his relationship is not value-added. It's still difficult but necessary.
I called and got his voicemail. Now the conversation is delayed. I was ready to have it and damn if he isn't home and not answering his cell phone. Dammit, dammit, dammit. It's a good thing I have caller ID, now I can ignore his call and make it when I'm comfortable, not when it's best for him.
This was prompted by a phone call I received last Wednesday. Out of the blue, my dad calls me and catches me as I'm in the middle of something so I had to call him back and catch him after work. I do catch up with him and pretty much at the start of the conversation he begins with asking to borrow money. Wait.... what? Did I hear that right? My dad is very sarcastic so I asked him if he was serious. (if you know my dad you'd know this is not a strange question) He said yes. I could probably write a book with tips on how NOT to make bad life decisions based on the lessons learned from this man. Anyway, he's having a hard time, after filing bankruptcy this year, and asked to borrow some money. Ummm.... I don't know.
Of course I had to talk it over with my husband (who, incidentally, is not a fan of the Edgar) I was shocked. Really, I should have seen it coming. I really should have. But why would I? On the one hand I see how I should have seen it coming but on the other hand why would I think my father would ask to borrow money? I was dumbstruck. It's not like it was a huge sum of money but the fact that he asked in the first place shocked me. We'll just add that to the list of things this man does that I don't understand.
I have to tell him no and it causes a level of anxiety I don't like - ever. I feel it in the pit of my stomach. The phone is ringing and I'm nervous. Is it guilt? No, I don't think so. Well, maybe a little. Without rehashing the details, this money would help pay for something he probably does need but should be able to pay for next month. Am I saying no because I'm bitter? Yeah, there's probably a degree of bitterness involved but we have to take care of our own family first. We have two small people who depend on us and we have to take care of them first and foremost. Now I feel like I'm making excuses and justifying my decision. I shouldn't have to but I can't help it.
When dealing with my father, I become an angry 17 year old. I want to let it go, I really want to but there is a whole lotta hurt and bitterness that is difficult to undo. My way to deal with is to pretend it doesn't exist and limit my contact with him and the stepmonster. (especially the crazy stepmonster!) He is definitely the classic definition of a toxic person in my life. I have cut back my interaction because his relationship is not value-added. It's still difficult but necessary.
I called and got his voicemail. Now the conversation is delayed. I was ready to have it and damn if he isn't home and not answering his cell phone. Dammit, dammit, dammit. It's a good thing I have caller ID, now I can ignore his call and make it when I'm comfortable, not when it's best for him.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Blog
I've lost my mind. Crazy Train, here I come.
I haven't felt like writing much lately. In fact, I honestly don't know if I'll keep this blog and my other log. Might be time to move on. Not sure yet. May have worn out my welcome, so to speak. I might change my mind. Or not. It's been one of those up-and-down kind of weeks. [warning: passive aggressiveness] Would anyone notice if either one went blank? It doesn't feel like it.
I haven't felt like writing much lately. In fact, I honestly don't know if I'll keep this blog and my other log. Might be time to move on. Not sure yet. May have worn out my welcome, so to speak. I might change my mind. Or not. It's been one of those up-and-down kind of weeks. [warning: passive aggressiveness] Would anyone notice if either one went blank? It doesn't feel like it.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Nutrition
I have decided I want to lean out this season. That means I'm going to have to watch what I eat and when I eat more closely. I have a fairly relaxed approach to food - I train so I can eat and eat so I can train. This is within reason, of course. I think we eat pretty well but there's always room for improvement. I think where I fall short is with protein. I think I get enough but as an endurance athlete I need more than the average woman. I think about it but not as closely as I should. We eat lots of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meat (mostly fish and poultry), dairy products (cheese, yogurt, skim milk), and as little "junk" as possible. It's possible (but I don't know for sure!) we have more junk then we'd have if we didn't have kids but with 2 girls, there are some things you gotta let go. [as I'm eating a popsicle because my throat hurts] But on the flip side, I don't know if we would have taken the path to our current lifestyle had it not been for the girls... so, there's that too.
This week my eating schedule has been all out of whack. I have been slack on eating a proper breakfast and lunch too. My workout schedule usually has us leaving the gym at lunchtime and I usually have a hungry 3 year old with me. (who, quite possibly, would eat Chick-fil-a everyday) I try to time it so we have a snack on the way to the gym and we have lunch at home but it didn't quite work out that way this week and my energy has suffered. I feel like I have zapped my energy stores and today I am tired. I had a hard time finishing my swim today and now I'm worn out.
I've just started the peak phase of my training and I can't afford to fall short on nutrition. I could probably stand to lose a few pounds too (damn problem areas!!) but at my current weight, I also have to be careful that I'm not sacrificing at the expense of muscle. Although, it's really not the time to lose weight so I have to get over that mentality. I am 3 weeks out from my first "big" race and nutrition and hydration need to monitored more closely.
This week my eating schedule has been all out of whack. I have been slack on eating a proper breakfast and lunch too. My workout schedule usually has us leaving the gym at lunchtime and I usually have a hungry 3 year old with me. (who, quite possibly, would eat Chick-fil-a everyday) I try to time it so we have a snack on the way to the gym and we have lunch at home but it didn't quite work out that way this week and my energy has suffered. I feel like I have zapped my energy stores and today I am tired. I had a hard time finishing my swim today and now I'm worn out.
I've just started the peak phase of my training and I can't afford to fall short on nutrition. I could probably stand to lose a few pounds too (damn problem areas!!) but at my current weight, I also have to be careful that I'm not sacrificing at the expense of muscle. Although, it's really not the time to lose weight so I have to get over that mentality. I am 3 weeks out from my first "big" race and nutrition and hydration need to monitored more closely.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Weather
We've had some crazy weather lately. Rain. Sun. Warm. Cold. I'm so ready for it to be warm and sunny on a regular basis! I could never live up north, especially for an extended winter. I need the sun. I don't mind if it's sunny and cold but this gray-drizzly-cold shit is for the birds.
Last night we had a thunderstorm roll through, lucky us; complete with hail and everything! Our big dumb scared
y-cat dog is terrified of thunder and lightening. Our dog drives me crazy but sometimes it's hard to resist this face.
The storm woke my daughter up first, then the dog followed me in her room and wouldn't leave. Then she followed me in to my room and paced around looking for a place to hide. I thought she'd left but then I found her cowering in the very corner of our closet. I tried to get her out but she did the "lay down, I'm not moving" thing that dogs do. Grrrrrr. The hail started and woke up my husband. I'm in the closet at 2 o'clock in the morning trying to get the dog out and my husband says just to leave her alone. Fine, she can stay. (she doesn't come in our room normally) Except, she won't lay down. She's pacing the room again and her tags are making a "ching-ching" noise on her collar. Finally she goes back out in to the hallway. Hooray, now I can get back to bed. Oh, no, not quite yet. Then she noses my daughter's door open. Dammit. I get up and promptly shoo her out of the room so my 3 year old can go back to sleep. The storm finally calmed down so she could sleep in the hallway.
The good news is we got good sleep after that; the bad news is that we have another huge wave of storms moving through, overnight, again tonight. Perfect. My older daughter asked me over breakfast if I heard the noise like it was raining gumballs. Yes, yes I did. Glad she wasn't scared too.
Last night we had a thunderstorm roll through, lucky us; complete with hail and everything! Our big dumb scared
y-cat dog is terrified of thunder and lightening. Our dog drives me crazy but sometimes it's hard to resist this face.The storm woke my daughter up first, then the dog followed me in her room and wouldn't leave. Then she followed me in to my room and paced around looking for a place to hide. I thought she'd left but then I found her cowering in the very corner of our closet. I tried to get her out but she did the "lay down, I'm not moving" thing that dogs do. Grrrrrr. The hail started and woke up my husband. I'm in the closet at 2 o'clock in the morning trying to get the dog out and my husband says just to leave her alone. Fine, she can stay. (she doesn't come in our room normally) Except, she won't lay down. She's pacing the room again and her tags are making a "ching-ching" noise on her collar. Finally she goes back out in to the hallway. Hooray, now I can get back to bed. Oh, no, not quite yet. Then she noses my daughter's door open. Dammit. I get up and promptly shoo her out of the room so my 3 year old can go back to sleep. The storm finally calmed down so she could sleep in the hallway.
The good news is we got good sleep after that; the bad news is that we have another huge wave of storms moving through, overnight, again tonight. Perfect. My older daughter asked me over breakfast if I heard the noise like it was raining gumballs. Yes, yes I did. Glad she wasn't scared too.
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