My dad and his heart

My dad called me Tuesday night at 10:00 to tell me about some heart "issues" he's been having. I haven't talked to him in a couple of months, haven't seen him in over a year. He told me he failed a stress test 2 weeks ago and yesterday he had an "episode." It sounded to me like he had a small heart attack so he called the cardiologist and he is going to the hospital on Wednesday to have the scope procedure done (I'm drawing a blank on what the procedure is called) and he was told that a bypass is a possibility. I know he's really freaked out about having any kind of heart procedure because (1) with any procedure like that there is always a possibility that it will not go as planned and (2) his mother died in the 70's while having a stent put in her heart. He's already had 2 procedures to put stents in but obviously a bypass is much more involved.

I realized this morning that I had not really thought about him after I got off the phone. I was upset when I was relaying the conversation to my husband but I didn't dwell on it much after that. I learned a long time ago, as a coping strategy, to not think about him too much. And now I've been doing it for so long it's second nature.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about him and my reaction. A friend posted on Facebook, this week, a quote that almost fits this situation, "Don't make someone a priority in your life if you are only an option in theirs." That is how I have felt on many, many occasions; never a priority, always an option. Like I'm part of bragging rights to friends.... "this is my oldest daughter. she's a triathlete. and these are her beautiful children. see what a great father I am."

**Update: He called me Wednesday night and apparently the doctor felt his procedure could wait until Monday. That is probably a good thing because he and my stepmonster are moving this weekend. He is using a Nitro patch for now unless something else happens. I guess we'll have to wait and see.