Friends and training

This was originally separate entries but realized I they were similar so I lumped them together.

There are a couple of women I am trying to get in to triathlons. I try to be encouraging but there are times when I think I'm not doing a very good job. One, who I've met to train with a couple of times, has not met me the last couple times. I joked to my husband that she was intimidated by my awesomeness. I was totally joking because if there's anything that I think I might be, awesome is not one of them. Anyway, so then my husband gave me a hard time about it and said I was making fun of this woman. WTF? I was confused. He knows I don't think I'm great and downplay my training so I was dumbstruck by his comment. I didn't think I was making fun. I have tried to help these women any way I can - I've trained with them, giving them tips that have helped me. I have worked hard to get to where I am right now. I train, read and study almost anything I can get my hands on or find online about training, racing, nutrition, technique...

I have another friend who I have drifted away from and it makes me sad. We've been friends since I met her at work in 1999. She was always my favorite boss and we were friends outside of work too. She still works in retail and I've been a stay at home mom for about 5 years. We don't have much in common anymore and although I still like to hang out with her, we don't have much to talk about. The last time we got together so our girls could play, she made several comments about how thin I am, my training, her lack of exercise and how unhappy she was with how she looked. How do I respond to this? I tried to "minimize" what I do because I didn't want to make her feel worse. When I got home, I was feeling a little deflated. I felt bad that she felt she couldn't change but at the same time I didn't feel like I should be apologetic for the hard work that I do and my lifestyle choices. It's a weird situation. Since that visit, we haven't talked or gotten together again. I feel like she doesn't want to hang out because I made her feel worse about herself. I don't know. If I did, it wasn't intentional. I still get emails from her on occasion but they're just the generic forwarded messages. I don't know what to do about it. Maybe nothing. Maybe it will just be one of those friendships that kind of fizzles out on it's own but will still be a "Christmas card" kind of friendship.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for with this, affirmation maybe? I don't know. Bah.